eZine April 2009

Erickson grew up in Lowell, Wisconsin in a modest farming family, and intended to become a farmer like his father. At age 17, he contracted polio, and was so severely paralyzed that the doctors believed he would die.

While recovering, still almost entirely lame in bed, and unable to speak, he became strongly aware of the significance of non-verbal communication - body language, tone of voice and the way that these non-verbal expressions often directly contradicted the verbal ones.

"I had polio, and I was totally paralyzed, and the inflammation was so great that I had a sensory paralysis too. I could move my eyes and my hearing was undisturbed. I got very lonesome lying in bed, unable to move anything except my eyeballs. I was quarantined on the farm with seven sisters, one brother, two parents, and a practical nurse. And how could I entertain myself? I started watching people and my environment. I soon learned that my sisters could say "no" when they meant "yes." And they could say "yes" and mean "no" at the same time. They could offer another sister an apple and hold it back. And I began studying non-verbal language and body language. I had a baby sister who had begun to learn to creep. I would have to learn to stand up and walk. And you can imagine the intensity with which I watched as my baby sister grew from creeping to learning how to stand up."

He began to recall "body memories" of the muscular activity of his own body. By concentrating on these memories, he slowly began to regain control of parts of his body to the point where he was eventually again able to talk and use his arms.

Erickson became an avid medical student, and was so curious about and engaged with psychiatry that he got a psychology degree while he was still studying medicine.

Milton H. Erickson died in March 1980, aged 78, leaving four sons, four daughters, and a lasting legacy to the worlds of psychology, psychiatry, psychotherapy, pedagogics and communications.

Source: Wikipedia

Tero® International, Inc.
Your Elite Training Team

Monthly eZine - April 2009

In this issue:
Welcome to the Tero International Monthly eZine
Ask Tero - Questions and Answers from the Training Professionals at Tero
Feature Article - 12 Most Common Networking Mistakes
Professional Development Activity - Asking Instead of Telling
Resources
What's New at Tero?
Public Workshops - Opportunities for Continued Learning and Development
Online Resources - Providing Feedback
Inspiration - Things to Think About

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1. Click here to view Tero's April 2009 eZine.
2. Click here for links to pdf's of the April 2009 eZine and previous eZines.

Welcome to the Tero International Monthly eZine

If there were a recipe for building rapport we would all follow it. The ability to establish rapport is the ability to create trust, and we all know trust is the essential foundation to any longstanding business relationship. Although we may not be able to follow a recipe for rapport, we can be an architect of it. There are building blocks of relating that have been proven by science to construct a feeling of rapport between ourselves and others - the result of which leads to trust.

This month's eZine is focused on these building blocks. As you read the eZine, we are pretty sure you may see yourself in it. You are probably already a builder of rapport without even thinking about it. The closest business relationships you have are a testament to this fact. Which blocks come easy to you? Which ones might you make a mental note to begin using to either create a stronger foundation or bolster the structure of an existing relationship?

So even if there is no one recipe for rapport, taking a look at and employing the building blocks featured in Tero's April eZine will help you create and customize a blueprint of success for all of your business relationships. Relationships that will be built intelligently and solidly block by block - which you can count on lasting for a long time.

Ask Tero

This section contains questions asked of the training professionals at Tero. Do you have a question for Tero? Let us know! If there is a topic or question you would like to see addressed in a future eZine, please make suggestions so we can give you the resources you need. Thank you for the continued responses we receive each month.

Question: Is it appropriate for me to offer my business card at a social function?

Tero says: Social functions are a great way to expand your network, however, it is not appropriate to use them to promote yourself or your business overtly. Being a stellar guest, making a great impression and building relationships need to be your main objective socially. If someone asks you for your business card, determine if the social setting lends itself to a card exchange. If you are being hosted, your host's objective for the event overrides any individual interest or intent. For instance at a dinner party it is not acceptable to furnish your card. It would be better if asked for your card to promise to contact the person or send it after the event. This keeps the integrity of the event and you intact. If it is a social event, such as a charity function with a cocktail mixing hour, furnishing a card if asked would not seem inappropriate. The operative words are "if asked". Never try to give your card unsolicited at a social function.

Question: What do I do with my napkin when done with the meal?

Tero says: The napkin is placed at the left side of the place setting at the conclusion of the meal. It does not need to be refolded. Please wait until everyone at your table is finished before placing yours in the finished position. To do that too early while others are still eating can make those not yet finished feel hurried.

Click here to ask Tero a question

Feature Article - The 12 Most Common Networking Mistakes and How to Avoid Them
by Rowena Crosbie

Nearly 50 business professionals attended the Lunch & Learn hosted by Tero in April. The presentation topic was Networking and the article below highlights many of the areas covered during the session.

It has been estimated that each of us has a network of 250 people.

That is the average number of people you could expect to come to your wedding or your funeral.

In support of this theory, if given a little time, you could probably write down the names of 250 people - the people you know on a first name basis. Experts in networking will tell you how to leverage that network when you need it. They will teach you how to gain access into the networks of others. They will tell you that tapping the networks of others will exponentially increase the size of your own network.

Let's say you list the names of 50 people who you know. If each of them knows 50 people and they know 50 people and so on and so on, the numbers add up very quickly.

So networking should be fairly simple. You simply contact the people you know, tell them what help you need and voila, the work of networking is complete.

Alas, it doesn't work that easily.

Just because you can list the names of 50 or 250 people, that doesn't mean that you can count on them to help you in the achievement of your goals.

Click here for the full article

Professional Development Activity - Asking Instead of Telling

Asking, instead of telling is a skill that offers many benefits in building rapport. Often we get so caught up in our own communication, we fail to remember we have a better opportunity to build rapport by asking - and listening. Research tells us asking questions does the following for you. Challenge yourself to ask more questions and see how it affects your rapport building.

Enhances your credibility
Effective asking can enhance your credibility. In other people's minds, asking questions about a topic makes you appear more knowledgeable than others who just talk about it.

Contributes towards a comfortable environment
Effective asking can make the other person feel comfortable. Most human beings prefer talking to listening to such an extent that, given the choice, that is what we do. We all like the feeling of being listened to.

Directs thinking
Effective asking can cause the other person to think about what you want them to think about. If you think your idea is right for them, instead of telling, you can cause the other person to think about it by asking the right questions. You can even help the other party visualize it and come to the right conclusion on their own.

Can gently signal disagreement
Effective asking can gently signal that you disagree. A carefully placed question, however, will not only signal that you are not actually agreeing but will cause the other party to think through their thinking and maybe see the very reason why you cannot agree.

Provides think time
Effective asking can provide valuable think time. Most of us speak at about 120 - 160 words per minute. We think much faster than that (about 700 words per minute). You may have noticed that when another person is speaking, you have plenty of time to formulate your thoughts.

Source: Tero International Participant Manual
Beyond Compromise: A Better Way To Negotiate

Resources

Tero's Becky Rupiper-Greene is Featured Speaker at Omaha Lunch & Learn - May 1
Is your wardrobe recession-proof? Don't let economic strains compromise your professional appearance and visual presence. During this presentation, Becky Rupiper-Greene will help you position yourself for success with strategies to recession-proof your wardrobe, shop on a budget, and utilize body language to convey professionalism. For information, or to register, click here.

Succession Planning and ROI/Metrics Program
ASTD Central Iowa and Central Iowa SHRM are excited to announce a full-day event on May 6th. Attendees will receive some very focused education on two timely topics in our industries, Succession Planning and Metrics/ROI, coupled with implementation advice. For information, or to register, click here

You Remind Me of Me
Want to know more about how body language and mirroring facilitates rapport-building? Click here to read this timeless New York Times article by Benedict Carey

Building Rapport
Click here to enjoy an article from Tero's archive on strategies for building rapport.

What's New at Tero

Welcome Tero Interns
Tero's Internship Program provides students with experience in a variety of aspects of our growing business and is evidence of Tero's commitment to education. This spring/summer we congratulate the following students on being selected to participate in Tero's Summer Internship Program.

Jean Kaul is a Senior at Truman State University in Kirksville, Missouri

Ashley Feldman is a Junior at Central College in Pella, Iowa.
For a look back on past Tero interns, click here

Tero Summer Scholarships
This great opportunity for young adults to acquire the interpersonal skills taught by Tero International at no cost is quickly approaching its deadline. 12 summer scholarships (valued at $5,380) are available to high school and college students (ages 16 - 19). Tero Student Scholars enjoy a rare opportunity to participate in prestigious training programs designed to build critical personal and interpersonal skills. Applications are due by April 30, 2009. Click here for information about the Tero Summer Scholarship Program.

Happy Anniversary Tero
This month, Tero celebrates its 16th anniversary of bringing timely, relevant training programs to business professionals.

Public Workshops

Outclass Your Competition
A 5-hour Business Etiquette and Dining Tutorial workshop.
August 6, 2009 (Des Moines), November 19, 2009 (Des Moines)

Image and Influence: Polishing Your Professional Look
A 1/2-day workshop on polishing the message your appearance sends and discovering the best way to present yourself.
August 18, 2009 (Des Moines), October 22, 2009 (Des Moines)

IMPACT - How To Speak Your Way To Success
A 2-day workshop on speaking confidently and persuasively.
May 13-14, 2009 (Des Moines)
June 18-19, 2009 (Des Moines), August 19-20, 2009 (Des Moines)
September 16-17, 2009 (Des Moines), October 20-21, 2009 (Des Moines)
November 12-13, 2009 (Des Moines), December 9-10, 2009 (Des Moines)

Time Management Through Goal Setting
A 2-day workshop on setting goals, balancing priorities, managing time and building stress strength.
July 22-23, 2009 (Des Moines)

Selecting Top Performers: Recruiting and Interviewing
A 2-day workshop on hiring top performers.
September 23-24, 2009 (Des Moines)

Beyond Compromise: A Better Way To Negotiate
A 2-day workshop on collaborating to achieve win/win solutions.
May 6-7, 2009 (Des Moines)

World Class: Managing Diverse Business Communications
A 1-day workshop for internationals working in the U.S.
May 12, 2009 (Des Moines)

Click here to register for a public workshop

Online Resources

Are you a graduate of a Tero workshop? Your feedback is important to us.

Click here to fill out an evaluation of how your Tero acquired knowledge has impacted your everyday work and life. This opportunity is available in each eZine or you can visit the Tero website at www.tero.com to give us your feedback.

Inspiration - Things to Think About

"The most effective way to achieve right relations with any living thing is to look for the best in it, and then help that best into the fullest expression."
Author: Allen J. Boone

Is there someone you know who is always in your corner?

If there is, they are probably someone you choose to look for the best in at all times, and they return the favor when you need it the most. People tend to develop the most loyal rapport and trust with someone who gives it to them consistently. Judging and evaluating someone else's experience, unpredictability in our responses and closed or less than transparent communication inhibits our ability to create relationships that serve anyone, including ourselves.

Rapport is best constructed when we concentrate more on understanding what someone else's experience is and less on the assumptions we make about it from our own experience. The full expression of best for someone else is theirs alone. We may not know what it needs to be, but if we are consistently looking for and trying to understand the best in them in any situation, we are sure to have the opportunity to see it! And we can count on the fact they will be in our corner when needed - seeing the best in us and helping us be it.

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The Tero International Monthly eZine is written for the graduates and friends of Tero training programs. It is published by Tero International, Inc., 1840 NW 118th Street, Suite 107, Des Moines, Iowa 50325. Copyright 2009, Tero International, Inc. All rights reserved.

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Tero International, Inc.

1840 NW 118th Street, Suite 107, Des Moines, Iowa 50325
phone 515-221-2318 fax 515-221-2369

P. O. Box 241143, Omaha, Nebraska 68124-1143
Phone 402-334-6819

website www.tero.com
email training@tero.com