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Non-verbal messages often speak louder than words. Often, we don't even realize what messages our non-verbals are sending. Here are some commonly overlooked non-verbal messages and the perceptions they can leave with others.
 This can be perceived as a sign of frustration or tension.  This signals impatience or frustration.  A sign of stress or frustration.   Usually a masculine posture, and another sign of confidence or contentedness. However, it might actually be a sign of dominance if it occurs when men are interacting with women. If this is the case, it indicates that things are going their way.  Not to be confused with Leaning Back with Hands Behind Head, this non-verbal indicates that the person is feeling distress.  If you notice a person with more errors in their speech, beware. Listen for stuttering, repeated phrases, trailing off, and you'll often hear more "You know" and "Don't you think", being stated as well. The communication errors are likely disruptions between the brain and the mouth due to the nature of what the person is saying.  The tension associated with lying can cause some to be clearing their throat more often. Now that you're aware, listen to the politicians. They are very notable throat-clearers, in particular, those involved with scandals. Sources:
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Welcome to the Tero International Monthly eZine
Impressions are lasting. The good news is that we have a lot of control over the impression we make on others. The bad news is that once an impression is made, it is tough, if not at times impossible, to change another person's perception of you. In other words, you only get one chance to make a great first impression.
This is a topic we feel is so important, and it has been touched on many times in past eZines. This eZine is focused on it. With holiday parties and other timely events just around the corner, now is the time to add a little polish to your impression.
The sidebar outlines the non-verbal messages we send. We often send non-verbal messages without even realizing it. A little awareness of some common mistakes will serve you well. The article describes common mistakes in networking that lead to negative perceptions. The professional development exercise will help you develop one of your most powerful perception skills.
Our resources this month ask you to take a deep dive into how to select a training vendor that's right for you and your organization - an important consideration in planning for the coming year. Meanwhile, the Q&A hits on some first impression considerations for winter professional attire.
No matter where you are, or who you're standing near, making a great first impression is one of the most important keys to your professional image, success, and advancement.
Ask Tero
This section contains questions asked of the training professionals at Tero. Do you have a question for Tero? Let us know! If there is a topic or question you would like to see addressed in a future eZine, please make suggestions so we can give you the resources you need. Thank you for the continued responses we receive each month.
Question: I have noticed women's departments are featuring tights rather than hose with fall work and professional styles. Are tights appropriate with a suit? If so, how do I pull the look together so it is professional and not too casual?
Tero says: Tights were prevalent on the runways, and we are sure to see them in office hallways this fall and winter, too. Pairing tights in a dark shade which matches your skirt and shoes or boots provides a fresh, stylish look, as well as visually elongating the appearance of the legs. The heavier look and texture of tights is best when teamed with fabrics and shoes that are also somewhat heavier. While this creates a more relaxed look, it can still be professional enough for most offices when worn with a jacket or cardigan. If your industry warrants suits that are made of more refined, lighter-weight fabrics, it's best to save the tights for weekend wear, as they tend to overwhelm those smoother fabric finishes.
Question: What is the proper winter overcoat for men and women?
Tero says: The style of your outerwear should be consistent with the clothing category you are teaming it with. A bulky parka will not be compatible with an elegant suit or dress, and a dressy, tailored trench coat will seem out of place with your khakis or denim. Select a coat that is roomy enough to accommodate extra layers you might be wearing in the winter, such as a blazer or sweater. A man's business overcoat should cover his knees, and a woman's business overcoat should be long enough to cover her longest skirt. A man who lives in a cool climate and consistently wears suits may opt to purchase a wool or cashmere topcoat. Otherwise, a coat with a removable lining is a perfect investment for both men and women since it extends the seasonal wearing time.
Feature Article - Networking Myth vs. Reality
The ability to communicate effectively is cited as the number one factor contributing to the success of the highest paid professionals. So the ability to network well is definitely a skill worth mastering. Following are some of the common networking mistakes.
Myth #1
Reality
Myth #2
Professional Development Activity - The Power of Eye Contact
"The eyes are the windows to the soul", or so the saying goes. Yes, we perceive that we can size up a person by looking into their eyes. From a simple glance, we measure the level of trust to give to another. In US culture, people who can make direct eye contact with us are perceived to be more trustworthy. We believe them. People who divert their eyes when speaking to us risk being labeled as insincere or untrustworthy. Even when we are merely listening to another, the speaker is determining if they have our full attention and interest based largely on our eye contact.
For the next week, make a conscious effort to observe eye contact - your own and others. Notice when you have difficulty making direct eye contact and when it is easier. Research shows that men find it more difficult to make direct eye contact with women than with other men. For women, the pattern also holds true - they find it easier to make eye contact with another woman than with a man. Race, age, national culture, rank, physical size, and attractiveness are among the other factors also at play.
The most desirable form of eye contact is on an equal level. If two people are different heights, choosing to sit down for the interaction minimizes the height difference and improves eye contact. The angle of eye contact also matters. Stand (or sit) at a 90 degree angle from the other party to facilitate strong eye contact without creating the adversarial climate that can occur when the parties are across a table or desk. Monitor your eye contact in greetings. Are you guilty (as many are) of making eye contact with others until they enter your personal space, and then diverting your eye contact to the floor.
Let us know how your experiment with eye contact has gone. Email your stories/insights to training@tero.com Resources
Planning season has arrived for many organizations. It is during this time of year that organizations evaluate their needs for the following year, propose budgets and allocate resources. For many organizations, it also means looking at outsourcing needs.
Working with a vendor can be a great advantage. A trusted partner can save you both time and money while bringing a level of expertise that doesn't exist in-house. But there is risk. The vendor you choose to entrust with your employee development programs reflects on you - for better or for worse. Indeed, your own credibility is on the line. How the vendor you choose is perceived in your organization also shapes how you are perceived.
Click on the link below for helpful tips in choosing a training vendor.
What's New at Tero
Tero Hosts ASTD Central Iowa Chapter Monthly Meeting
Interviewing Skills Workshop October 16-17
A 5-hour Business Etiquette and Dining Tutorial workshop. December 4, 2008 (Des Moines), January 20, 2009 (Omaha) February 20, 2009 (Des Moines), April 23, 2009 (Des Moines) Image and Influence: Polishing Your Professional Look
IMPACT - How To Speak Your Way To Success
Time Management Through Goal Setting
Selecting Top Performers: Recruiting and Interviewing
Beyond Compromise: A Better Way To Negotiate
World Class: Managing Diverse Business Communications
Online Resources
Are you a graduate of a Tero workshop? Your feedback is important to us.
Click here to fill out an evaluation of how your Tero acquired knowledge has impacted your everyday work and life. This opportunity is available in each eZine or you can visit the Tero website at www.tero.com to give us your feedback.
Inspiration - Things to Think About
Sow a thought, and you reap an act;
- Charles Reade (English Novelist)
The Tero International Monthly eZine is written for the graduates and friends of Tero training programs. It is published by Tero International, Inc., 1840 NW 118th Street, Suite 107, Des Moines, Iowa 50325. Copyright 2008, Tero International, Inc. All rights reserved.
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