Your Office Meeting: Enter at your own risk.

Deborah Rinner knows the horror stories. As an executive coach from Tero International in West Des Moines, she has heard tales that would make you think twice about venturing into your first real-world meeting unprepared.

Take her fable of a young man fresh on the job and so excited to be at his first meeting, he walked in and plopped down in the first available chair. Unfortunately, it turned out to be the throne of the presiding vice president.

"That was very embarrassing," Rinner remembers. "From then on the meeting is kind of done for that person "

Yikes.

If you're like me, you were probably unaware that the boss has a special chair. That's probably why I work so many weekends.

Seasoned workers complain about disjointed meetings that go on forever and never reach a point.

For someone new to the job, the pitfalls are more basic, experts say. Beyond knowing who is who, common problems include:

* Showing up late. You can make a grand entrance at a party by arriving late, but showing up late for a meeting is a sign of disrespect. It might even knock a few dollars off your next raise.

* Unknowingly offending somebody. You're new and you speak out of turn, offending the den mother or middle manager that signs your paycheck.

* Too cutesy. Trying to make everyone like you can sometimes turn into a bad night at the comedy club.

* Being unprepared. If you haven't read the material, just nod and smile like you did in school and hope no one calls on you.

* Too tongue-tied to speak. You're afraid your ideas arent up to snuff.

Meetings are like obtacle courses. Make it through unscathed and the prize could be career advancement, experts say.

"Meetings are a chance for people to connect," Rinner says.

Lydia Ramsey, author of "Manners That Sell," agreed. "Once they attend a couple of times, they definitely want to participate. If they dont speak up, they will end up being passed over," she says. "Going into these meetings is like going into a church for the first time. You dont want to sit in somebody else's pew."

Key pieces of advice:

* Pay attention to what others are doing. You'll learn the office culture and quickly know if it's OK to show up chugging a bottle of Mt. Dew or if sipping coffee is more appropriated.

* Go prepared. Know the agenda and be prepared to speak on topic. If the meeting gets side-tracked into unproductive issues, hold your ideas until it gets back on track.

* Try steering a sidetracked meeting back on course by saying something like "That's interesting, but I think if we did ... it might move us closer to where we want to be."

* Avoid criticizing people directly. Ask open-ended questions if an idea sounds worrisome.

* Dont get defensive. If somebody criticizes your idea, dont take it personally. "It's so important to stay relaxed," Rinner says. "You want to stay detached in away that you are thinking and concerned but not going to react emationally."

* If you're too timid to voice an idea in front of others, Rinner says, "You can always put your follow-up thoughts into a memo. "Start the memo with something like this: "In reflection, this is what I was thinking about ...."

Remember, she adds, the longer you are there, the easier it will be to participate.

Most important - let the boss sit down first.