Would you like to fight less with your teenager! Perhaps you should read what Kyndra Wilson, Learning Coach of Tero Intenational's Outstanding in Life program has to say.

"One young man who recently graduated from our program at Dowling said our program gave him meaning and purpose in life. He said that he felt more common sense. He said he avoided more fights with his parents than he used to start. When they did have fights he felt he had the skills to deal with what was going on.

"We can't teach meaning and purpose in life," said Kyndra. "It's a great side effect of our work when it happens. It's not in the curriculum!

"We can't teach common sense. I do think that students feel more confident when they have the skills that we teach them. And they do. Knowing they have life skills adds to their sense of security."

What is Tero International! It is a company founded in 1993 by Rowena Crosbie, a national member of the American Society for Training and Development. "The greatest skill we can help our children develop is the ability to understand themselves and relate to others. That is our ultimate goal," said Kyndra.

The course is structured using five skill clusters: personal communication skills, personal effectiveness skills, entrepreneurial skills, relating skills and leadership skills. It is now offered to middle school and high school students as well as adults.

"Rowena used to get calls from companies asking them to 'fix' their employees who had great technical skills but not so great social skills. She thought, "Why wait?"

"We are big believers in accelerated learning," said Kyndra Wilson. "Learning does not happen unless the learner is being valued. The way that happens is that the learner is actively involved in their own learning. They are teaching others as they go along. We find that reinforces their learning."

For example, Kyndra teaches listening skills to students in class using a partnering exercise. For one minute one student talks, and the partner practices good listening skills. For the second minute the partner practices not-so-good listening skills.

"When the student who is speaking sees the difference between someone who is really listening to them and someone who isn't, that makes a tremendous impact," Kyndra said.

The students are then sent out on a field trip -- anywhere they want to go -- to observe people who are practicing good listening skills.

"The students enjoy it! They always come back with great insights," said Kyndra.

Another skill that Rowena Crosbie and Kyndra Wilson teach is that of anger management. "We have students construct a thermometer. We talk about learning your own hot buttons.

"The homework assignment that goes along with that exercise is learning: how to cool down and view the situation more objectively. This technique that can be used is self-talk. For instance, if someone cuts you off in traffic, your first response might be,'l want to kill them!' However, you can stop and think about the situation in a different way. Perhaps the other driver is rushing his injured child to the hospital. He most likely did not wake up that morning thinking of ways to upset you," said Kyndra.

So, if you want to have fewer fights with your teenagers and be listened to more often, call your school and ask them to bring in the Tero International Outstanding in Life program. Kyndra Wilson and Rowena Crosbie can he reached at 727-1701. You can visit their web page at www.tero.com.

"My parents used to live in Ecuador," Kyndra elaborated. "They now e-mail their friends who live there. E-mail is a great thing. However, I think we also lose our listening skills in the process if we are not careful. People often want to be listened to. Listening is a very simple and important skill to learn whether you are using it at home or at work."