Imagine playing on the teeter-totter when you were a child. Remember the tension you felt when the bigger kid sat on the other end and wouldn't let you down? That's how our work life and personal life sometimes feel-one side seems heavier than the other, and balancing may seem beyond our control.

Our work and personal lives present differing weights and measures that can induce stress. We need to analyze how we deal with them to leverage the stress and use it to our advantage. In the defense of stress, in 1908, Robert M. Yerkes and John D. Dodson of Harvard Physiologic Laboratory discovered the following effects of stress on performance:

Up to a certain level, increased stress led to increased performance and efficiency. We might feel more energized, find work more enjoyable, and remain calm under pressure if this level of stress is present. However, if stress increases beyond the personal comfort zone, then performance and efficiency decrease. Furthermore, too little stress causes decreased performance and efficiency.

Common physical symptoms of stress may be headaches, stomach problems, sleep disturbance, chronic mild fatigue, over and under eating. All of these can be attributed to other health and mental issues. The psychological symptoms might include increased forgetfulness, anger, frustration, anxiety, irritability, and feeling powerless, which are sometimes linked to hormone changes, dehydration, and mental issues. Left untreated, stress can trigger more serious and long-term illnesses, such as heart disease, stroke, diabetes, ulcers, depression, and substance abuse.

It's rare and unfortunate that we fail to recognize these symptoms as indicators of stress. Too often the symptoms of stress are often confused with other health issues. Rather than evaluating work and life balance, prescribing medicines tend to be the more common remedy. With stress-related illnesses costing businesses $300 billion a year in medical costs and lost productivity, it's evident that many of us suffer from too much stress, and not enough self-reflection. Thus we encounter an imbalance in our work and life.

What do we need to reflect on? Barry Schwartz, author of "The Paradox of Choice," suggests that today's modern society imposes stress upon us with too many choices. Take a moment to think about a deli and all of the options you have for breads, meats, cheeses, and extras. Or take a walk down the baby aisle at a department store and count the number of different strollers, high chairs, and car seats available. In the workplace, we deal with endless options among vendors, advertising sources, and the goods and services offered to customers.

Choosing among these options not only takes extra time, but it causes us to second-guess our choices. But, as consumers, don't we want lots of choices? Can't we just ignore the choices we don't want? In his book, which supports why choice can bring less satisfaction, Schwartz says that "whereas it is logically true that people can ignore unwanted options, it isn't psychologically true." While an abundance of options create opportunity, it also creates a problem to be solved, requiring time and effort into even the most trivial decisions.

Today's society, Schwartz contends, also plays another part in work and life imbalances. Our need for perfection and setting high expectations lead to over commitment and augmented stress. This standard often sets a person up for inevitable disappointment. "It's a real challenge to maintain reasonable expectations in the modern world," says Swchartz. "The combination of material abundance, almost unlimited freedom, and overwhelming choice conspire to create the highest of expectations."

High expectations can sometimes trump our true abilities and perceptions. Dr. Martin E.P. Seligman teaches in his book, "Authentic Happiness," that in order to achieve happiness, you must first identify your existing strengths and unique traits, such as originality, humor, and optimism. Seligman feels that people want more to life than just solutions-they want meaning and gratification.

Finding a balance between our work life and personal life necessitates knowing how to distinguish between variables that can be controlled and those that cannot. For example, we can't control the weather, but we can determine how we will dress for the weather. In a work environment, we sometimes confuse a need for personal advancement and material reward with our need for work that challenges and stimulates. A positive work environment is one where a person feels they are respected and that they are contributing something meaningful. An article in Psychology Today by Hara Marano pinpointed six key areas for any employee's happiness: a manageable workload, a sense of control, the opportunity for rewards, a feeling of community, faith in the fairness of the workplace and shared values.

In life, our balance is weighed heavily by those with whom we have close relationships. These are our family, friends, and members of the community. It's the people who let you know that you mean something to them. Swartz cites that the biggest single contributor to happiness is close relations with other people. It makes sense to surround yourself with an environment of positive people who not only mean something to you, but let you know that you mean something to them.

Begin the journey to a more balanced living by evaluating the current balance in your life. What positive changes will you strive to make to create greater balance in your life? Consider these questions:

- When do you feel best about yourself?

- Have you abandoned any old dreams or ambitions that you might want to reconsider?

- What are two or three things are truly important to you now? Do you think these things will be important in five or ten years?

- What goals are you striving toward now?

- What types of situations typically cause stress for you? How do you handle stress in your life?

- If you continue your present lifestyle, how will it affect your crucial relationship with your spouse, children, and friends?

- Do you feel you need more challenges in your life?

- What could you start doing now?

- What could you stop doing now?

By looking both within and outside ourselves we're better able to find a balance between our work life and personal life. Equality is not the goal. It's knowing what and who are important to you and making sure that they get included in both aspects of our lives.

Jennifer Chittenden is Client Relations Coordinator for Tero International, Inc.

Sources:

Marano, Hara. "Why the Brain Needs a Break", Psychology Today. From website: http://health.yahoo.com/centers/work_life/2842

Schwartz, Barry. The Paradox of Choice. New York: Ecco, 2004.

Schwartz, Barry. "Choice and Happiness: Swathmore Last Collection", published on http://www.authentichappiness.org/news/news9.html

Seligman, Martin. Authentic Happiness. Simon & Schuster Canada, 2002.

Tero International. Outstanding Personal Achievement: Time Management Through Goal Setting. Tero® International, Inc., Des Moines, IA, 2002.