Mind The Gap

All millennials tend to be lumped together. But with such a wide range of birth years, from the early 1980s to the early 2000s, there's quite a gap in age... and expectation?

Millennials on the front end of the cohort feel as if the label "aging millennial" somewhat fits. The differences hit on what all cultural differences highlight, a shared frame of reference. Test yourself on this one. Which side do you resonate with? If these were a continuum, where would you fall?

• Carrie Bradshaw or the Kardashians?

• Prom date or prom proposal?

• Zebra cakes or gluten free?

• Meeting someone in a bar or Tinder?

• Early dial up or Snapchat?

• Spice Girls or Beyoncé?

It's not that you have to like one or another; in fact, older millennials probably relate to both. Those who plotted themselves more on the left side of that list may not be as fluent in understanding everything their 2000-something cohorts do. Younger millennials may not relate to the gen X influence or those millennials who favor the left side of the list above. As blogger Julie Sprankles mentioned, as an aging millennial she's under the same umbrella as those fifteen to twenty years younger and, "That's a big ol' chunk of time, rife with change."

So what is to be learned from this millennial lumping? Frame of reference is a strong influence when it comes to preferences and expectations. As Anais Nin said, "We don't see things as they are, we see the things as we are."

Baby boomer and gen X colleagues have a frame of reference too. It may be difficult to understand where they're coming from because millennials were never there. Boomers who have a challenge accepting flexible working hours might do so because their frame of reference might have been a strict nine-to-five workday. Gen Xers remember pay phones, so they may not be as keen to update technology as quickly as millennials.

Frame of reference is a shared set of understandings, knowledge, and beliefs of a group formed by their common experience. It can be a cultural group, generational group, or family. We cannot know the other person's experience, but remembering what's inside their frame, even if we don't get it, is as important and valid as what is in ours.

Your Invisible Toolbox

Inquiry about attitudes and habits that relate to frame of reference can help minimize confusion and close the gap of misunderstanding.

Discover your frame of reference

This content comes from Rowena Crosbie and Deborah Rinner's new book, Your Invisible Toolbox: The Technological Ups and Interpersonal Downs of the Millennial Generation. Written with the largest cohort in the workplace, the millennial generation in mind, it is a must-read for anyone wanting to enhance their interpersonal interactions at work. You can grab a copy on Amazon or by visiting the offical book website at yourinvisibletoolbox.com.

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