Stressed Out

According to the American Psychological Association, millennials experience more stress and are less able to manage it than any other generation. They're also more anxious than older Americans. Twelve percent of millennials are said to have a diagnosed anxiety disorder-almost twice the percentage of boomers.

Does this mean all others manage stress more effectively? Is responding with anxiety unique to millennials?

Stress is inherent even in the animal kingdom. Visualize a cat in hot pursuit of a mouse. The cat catches the mouse. Good day for the cat, bad day for the mouse.

Or what if the mouse outmaneuvers the cat? Bad day for the cat. Good day for the mouse.

Similar to cats and mice, humans are hardwired for a fight or flight response when faced with a stressful situation. Where the cat is competing to acquire a meal and the mouse is fleeing the threat of becoming a meal, humans have different stressors.

If our automatic stress response perceives the threat cannot be outrun (flight) or outfought (fight), we freeze. Imagine a deer in the headlights or the paralyzed possum "playing dead."

Our three-fold automatic stress response is simply this:

• Fight

• Flee

• Freeze

The response is quick and efficient. When challenged, it sorts through the millions of sensory bits of data we are exposed to. Like a filter, it screens the information for level of importance and tells us whether to react or not.

The amygdala in the emotional center sees and hears everything that occurs to us instantaneously and is the trigger point for the fight or flight response.
Daniel Goleman

Every bit of sensory stimuli we perceive is screened for two qualities.

• Is this information of value?

• Is this information of threat?

If the answer is no to both questions, the data is screened out. Gone. If yes, we are going to fight, flight, or freeze.

Is the leaf falling to the ground behind you important? No, so data is screened out.

Is the oncoming car important? Well, if you happen to be in the path of it, the answer is clearly yes, and the filter springs into action to alert you to the danger.

Instinct does not send critical information to higher thinking centers to be contemplated by committee in pursuit of a decision. Instead, instinct forwards the alert to a different frontier, the physiological response center. The information bypasses the higher brain centers and ignites your physiology to respond. Your heart rate increases, your large muscle groups prepare, all in a split second, and the fight or flight response (in the case of the oncoming vehicle, the response is flight) responds to the call.

You move-without any creative thought.

If you don't rely on your instinct and instead pause to contemplate the context of the situation thoroughly, you may find yourself facing a tragic end.

Instinct is a useful and automatic survival response. It resides in the unconscious. It is especially useful when facing a physical threat. You don't have to think about responding. You just will.

The fight or flight response also engages when the threat is a psychological one. Psychological threats in the workplace and life are prevalent.

Think of a time when a customer, manager, friend, relative, or team member overtly disagreed with you. Even though words and a disagreement cannot physically hurt you, your physiology responds. On the physiological level, the response activates regardless of whether you're facing the threat of your work being challenged or the threat of an approaching stranger wielding a weapon.

This causes you to resort to unproductive methods of interacting and often unintended results.

• In behavioral terms when the reaction is a psychological one, the flight response manifests as passive, accommodating or avoiding behaviors like shutting down or giving in.

• The fight response expresses as aggressive, competitive, or attacking behavior like yelling or demanding.

• In the workplace or in life, the freeze response is experienced as "going blank" when challenged, as in a meeting. Although you might cognitively have something to say, you're stopped in your tracks and can't engage.

Classic interpersonal responses in situations involving differences with others are hard or soft. This happens for all humans, not just millennials. Hard is the fight response and a win-at-all costs approach. Soft is the flight response where an individual attempting to avoid tension makes too many concessions or gives in.

Every profession and life situation presents challenges in its own way. When challenged, humans are put on the spot and need to respond. Many people go with their natural instincts and get passive or aggressive. Yet they don't need to become defensive or attack. They can choose other behaviors.

Your Invisible Toolbox

When someone is skilled at choosing versus reacting, you may not even notice. You just see the impact and may attribute it to qualities such as leadership, charisma, or intelligence.

Identify your stressors

---

This content comes from Rowena Crosbie and Deborah Rinner's new book, Your Invisible Toolbox: The Technological Ups and Interpersonal Downs of the Millennial Generation. Written with the largest cohort in the workplace, the millennial generation in mind, it is a must-read for anyone wanting to enhance their interpersonal interactions at work. You can grab a copy on Amazon or by visiting the offical book website at yourinvisibletoolbox.com.

Read More Articles >>