The more you know about the person you are attempting to communicate with, the more closely you can tailor a message that will be well received. Building a relationship prior to negotiating or communicating anything of high emotional investment helps, not only in rapport, but in the realizations you gain about how someone communicates. To prep yourself on how the receiver naturally communicates, what their mental scripts are, and how they take in information can be of great assistance. Howard Gardner in his book "Changing Minds" speaks of seven communication considerations. Try using these the next time you are preparing to impart an important communication.

1. Arguments, Facts, Rhetoric: Is the person moved by argument based on fact? What role do facts play in importance to this person?

2. Direct or Indirect: Is this person more likely to be engaged by a direct discussion, or should I bring this up indirectly? Is questioning a better technique that telling? Are non verbal cues like silence able to say more to this person than words?

3. Consistency: Does this person need to see consistency in beliefs, attitudes and actions? If so how do I help them deal with any apparent inconsistencies?

4. Conflict: Does this person like to match wits or avoid sharp exchanges?

5. Emotionally Charged Areas: Do you know what issues and ideas this person feels strongly about with regard to this message? Is this person motivated more by attraction to what he/she likes, or by fear of what he/she dislikes?

6. Current Scripts, Content and Form: When this person communicates with you, in writing, conversation etc. look for the mental representations they have concerning the issue. Also try to ascertain the way they hold these mental models. Are they more graphic or verbal? Do they seem to view things as models or illustrations? Try to appeal your argument or point to the way they take in information.

Gardner reminds us, the most important consideration of all is this: Focus less on how you see and impart information and more on how the person receiving sees it and may potentially take it in.