"The eyes are the windows to the soul", or so the saying goes. Yes, we perceive that we can size up a person by looking into their eyes. From a simple glance, we measure the level of trust to give to another. In US culture, people who can make direct eye contact with us are perceived to be more trustworthy. We believe them. People who divert their eyes when speaking to us risk being labeled as insincere or untrustworthy. Even when we are merely listening to another, the speaker is determining if they have our full attention and interest based largely on our eye contact.

Make a conscious effort to observe eye contact - your own and others. Notice when you have difficulty making direct eye contact and when it is easier. Research shows that men find it more difficult to make direct eye contact with women than with other men. For women, the pattern also holds true - they find it easier to make eye contact with another woman than with a man. Race, age, national culture, rank, physical size, and attractiveness are among the other factors also at play.

The most desirable form of eye contact is on an equal level. If two people are different heights, choosing to sit down for the interaction minimizes the height difference and improves eye contact. The angle of eye contact also matters. Stand (or sit) at a 90 degree angle from the other party to facilitate strong eye contact without creating the adversarial climate that can occur when the parties are across a table or desk. Monitor your eye contact in greetings. Are you guilty (as many are) of making eye contact with others until they enter your personal space, and then diverting your eye contact to the floor?